Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
