I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
