the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
