I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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