i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
