I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
