My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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