Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
