I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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