just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Need sex. Gaining weight.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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