dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize