bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
