who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I have so many feelings about this burrito
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
