Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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