Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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