3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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