The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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