You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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