That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
