just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
They have beer where we have blood.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
