so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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