Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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