I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
