I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
