ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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