I swear she didn't look like that last week.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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