The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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