strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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