what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
