I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
