belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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