Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
