i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
