so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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