I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Do you still have your period?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
