Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
