you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
