he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
