So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
