In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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