Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize