do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
