Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
