i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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