You work out of a Hotel?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
