Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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