Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
