Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize