I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize