Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
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