soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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