What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
