question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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