I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Non-Jews are for practice
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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