If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
