Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
