I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Screwed.edu
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
