If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize