would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
