He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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