his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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