like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
