I just threw up on my dentist
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
