put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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