So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
