Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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