is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Hippo gnu deer
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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