I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
