North Korea, Best Korea!
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
